Chokolato, PALMERSTON NORTH

Note: to protect the identity of the person who made us the drink, we are changing his name to Molly for the duration of this review.

So here is what happened, the band i play drums in, DIE ALONE were playing a show in PALMERSTON NORTH, and this dude who is (maybe not after this) a friend of us made a mocha for the biggus nickus and I. we meandered in there like "oh wooooooord? they use actual REAL CHOCOLATE in their drinks? well gotdam baby girl sign us up" (actual thought (it wasnt actually a girl who told us but Molly)) ... not to mention it was a pleasure seeing Molly wear this tiny little fedora, lord knows i love me a fedora.

before Molly made us the drinks, i told him we were gonna review the shit out of this mocha. so he asked us if we liked coffeeish ones, and of course being a NEUTRAL and UNBIASED and PROFESSIONAL reviewer, i said to just make it however he likes them, to which he replied "i dont drink coffee" (remember that for later) which we then got a choice of what kind of chocolate in the mocha. Dairy, dark, or white. being your average run-of-the-mill white dude guy i chose Dairy.... Nick got all three flavours of chocolates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was in flavour country

And thats when we received the drinks, im pretty sure out of spite and hatred for coffee drinkers, Molly neglected to actually put any coffee in it. Its like forgeting to put cement in a concrete mix (or yeast in a bread recipe for all the ladies out there)

Nick really really really enjoyed his one though which was a positive, that guy is impossible to please.

i give this mocha about 4/10

if you see this guy around please punch him in the weinis

But here is a lovely photo of him and big nick on halloween. they were dressed as Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwartzanagerrer from the movie twins.

Hello gaijin, whats the news? how are yous? (and other rhymes)

Its been quite a while since the last update, and for that i apologise. I have been finding it hard to think of what to write about, which is weird for a blog that has set conditions on which i "judge" the mochas upon. But alas it has been time for a new "review".

This review was decided to be done on Good Friday, which is when this dude jesus was killed for reasons that are still a bit foggy. We are pretty sure its cause he made it rain frogs at this dude Goliath's house and then the Goliath dude got super pissed and challenged jesus to a fight but then jesus changed all the water in goliaths water bottle to wine and Goliath got real pissed and fell over in a river and caused a huge flood which killed all but two of every animal. We were unsure if the place would be open cause some stores are closed or someshit on good friday? which is ridiculous because through careful social scrutination, and Greggg having a masters in Ancient History (from what has been explained to me sounds like it is mostly learning about the meaning of Phalluses in ancient Egyptian cave markings) is that we are sure that if jesus lived today, he would still have the beard, the long hair, probably a deep V neck t shirt and a fixed gear bike, which is also to say that he would love a coffee.

BUT I DIGRESS (and apologise to any potentially offended christian readers)

For this review we went to RIPE on Richmond rd in Grey Lynn. This has been a staple mocha getting place for me and greg for a long long time now, as they have consistent coffees and fuckkkkkkkkkkkkin mooooooooin foodstuffs.

Sorry this was the least erotic picture Greggg could take.

*Appearance

this was in a takeaway cuppy which is the only way they present them so shut up man its not like i was being lazy.

*Flavour

The reason why we go to ripe is because they have consistently good mochaccinos, and this time was no different. they are a fantastic ratio of coffee to chocolate and are perfectly milkyyy.

*temperature

i think it was probably gouda (good)

*foam ratio

PAPAER CUPS

*marshmallow

nah mang but got this mean as chocolate (w cherry) brownie (but i had to pay for it)

In conclusion, this was a mean mocha, just as what we have come to expect.

7.5/10

JYEAH

PS: our boy josh from cheapskate got his palm tattooed the other day. it rules. everyone should get their palm tattooed. except for me, cause my mum would fuckin smaaaaaash me. and she reads the blog. so ... hi mum

PPS: this song goes out to big nick cause he dropped the BOMB that he doesnt acutally like this song. RIDICULOUS. THIS ONES FOR YOU NICCKY